Woman Inside a Man and Man Inside a Woman

Its the festival of Navratri which will go on for five more days and five more nights , its thee festival that celebrates the power named Woman. 
   Woman in itself is another name of power and when i say the word power i mean the power of will, influence, wisdom, observation ,tolerance and patience. Its a stupid thought to measure the tolerance level of woman because the levels of pain a woman goes through to give birth to a baby and bring a new life into this world is immeasurable and we all know that a man is not capable enough to give . birth to a baby; and if you talk about physical strength which man claims to have more than a woman , you can find such strength in wild animals wandering around the forest, the main question here is that if you don't have the strength to control the reigns of your mind which gallops like a wild horse or if you don't have the strength to keep the self belief within you intact when surrounded by discouraging and condescending situations then all your effort to make yourself physically strong is futile. 
Lets face it we are not as patient as a woman ; no doubt we men go through a lot of suffering and tough situations in this funny and amusing journey of life but in this path we crib and whine about those situations too whereas a woman suffers silently and doesn't say a word and when we hear the story of a successful woman's life we shed at least one drop of tear and we accept it too that had we been in her place we would have killed ourselves and would have given up on life , if you don't believe me then try to know about a woman called "oprah winfrey "  probably her journey to the pinnacle of success might help you understand what you can't by reading this blog.
Thus my guy friends i have a peace of advice for you if you want to be called a real man , a true man and that advice would be to "give birth to the woman inside you" ; yes that's right instill the woman inside you. Show chivalry and abandon chauvinism ; think from your heart too when required , follow your instincts , listen to your inner conscience , control your desires and baseless lusts which takes you no where in life  , try to recognize and control the  "ego of masculinity"  that we all men are born with .
We all men are born with two things that are within us i assume even before our birth , one being our ego of masculinity and the other of  "our feminine nature" . Yes we do have a feminine side in us which we need to recognize and instill the virtues of that side and control the vices of it . We are always provided choices and in this case too we are given two alternatives to choose your feminine side or embrace the ego of masculinity and we always end up doing the latter. 
     I ask you to give it a try to go with the former alternative and see for yourself that how do you progress in life . I don't say that our ego of masculinity will perish instead it will taunt you and tempt you to choose it again all you have to do is keep a check on your ego . 
         To my female friends and readers i don't think i need to say much, but take pride in being a woman , abandon fear and take a stand against prejudice , instill self belief , wisdom and "follow your dreams " like "kalpana chawla" had said because doing this will "give birth to the man inside you "  because in the end it's all about making your choices .We men ought to know that the Shiva whom we pray is just one half , the other half is called sati/parvati but primarily she is called "SHAKTI" .
I have been surrounded by the presence of women in my life whose influences and teachings have made me what today i am in front of you my readers, I respect all those women who have been and still continue to be in my life deeply . I have also humiliated and ill-treated few of those women in some incidents and when i look back at them i feel ashamed of myself and curse the ego within me that made me do this for which i might never forgive myself  till the last breath exhaled by me . I consider this as a way to show my respect , remorse for all ill said and done by me to them . And i urge all of you to introspect yourself and give these feelings of mine a little bit of thought .

My Purpose of WRITING and your purpose of READING !!!

I will be honest in this post of mine ; apart from expressing my views and thoughts about certain aspects of life I had started this blog to fulfill a dream which looks faded and vague for the time being . A dream of becoming a writer , to write my thoughts in a direct manner like this blog or in a fictitious one like novels or short stories. I now imagine myself  co-writing a book with an author as famous as Durjoy Dutta for now ; to write a novel like my idols Amish Tripathi and Ashwin Sanghi a.k.a. Shawn Hagins is a distant dream for now, not that I am thinking low of myself  because i want to accomplish these dreams of mine too, but for now i want to take these baby steps and all i need is your feedback, love and support.

Your role is important for any other novel of any novelist for that matter to work. I as a reader believe that if read between the lines we can know what the writer is trying to tell us , what are his/her feelings, in other words we connect with the author; the story may have many loop-holes or myths which seem too amusing to be believed but  if we widen our gaze we can gain enough knowledge to enlighten ourselves all we need is a perspective to read novels . If we do this a novel based on fiction will also a whole new level of importance.

My first instance of enlightenment was when I read the Mahabharat , my most favorite story till date . There is no evidence of this story being based on real events , no evidence that the characters of that story ever existed . If read with a very rational mind the story seems very ridiculous, unreasonable and not convincing enough just because we were conditioned since childhood that the story is true and when we grew up we saw it in a rational manner and criticized it . When i read it I learned something , a lesson that i never will forget and i don't even wish to forget it " Atrocities done to a woman will lead to your very own destruction in the end; a woman might have said or done something wrong to you but your act of attacking her modesty and chastity will not justify the reason of your act . We humans are in the intermediate position between gods and demons. We have the vices such as Lust , greed , jealousy, insecurity, and many more such vices ,well i admit that i do have them in me  but if we strengthen our minds enough that we can suppress these vices to an extent that they don't seem visible to the world around us we can win the world's love and respect and if we dont control them and let them bring the worst of us then we are as good as the ruins of the world's bloodiest war." that's what i have learnt .But it saddens me that giving the reference of this story the society has went on to suppress women , thought of them to be a reason of war , a cause of conflict between brothers . This is the interpretation of just one story , do we know how many such novels were misinterpreted by us everyday ??

Its time we introspect our minds and change our approach towards them . This will in turn help us understand the human nature in a subtle manner , if not the human nature we can understand our nature , we can rediscover ourselves  our joy would know no bounds once we did this . If we do this even we can start inking our thoughts and let the world know what do we think and share our thoughts and views. Everyone and anyone can become a writer .

I always thought of myself as an introvert and a person who is shy who keeps his thoughts and desires to himself , but if this is the truth why am i writing it for the whole world to read ??? and after i ask this question to myself i realize that i can open up in  front of the wold and share my thoughts without any pre-conceived notions and fear and have a clear mind rather than a prejudiced one. This assumptions of writers being introvert is a false assumption because through their writings they are just trying to talk to you , their approach however is different than usual ones so all we need to do is respond and as said we can't a friend as loyal as a book . 

MARRIAGE : One's responsibility that gives one's Parents sleepless nights !!!!!

One of the most talked about ,crucial and life altering event of our life is unquestionably "marriage". Funny thing known to us about marriage is that like our academic qualifications , our future jobs and aspirations , our marriage is also the talk of the society , it's one of the most important event of our life which is anticipated more by our surroundings than by us . This anticipation frequently leads to chaos. In the midst of this chaos even we forget our purpose for getting married.

We assume marriage to be a responsibility when it is actually more than that , at least for me it is . For me marriage is a new breather in life , welcoming someone new in our life who could make us better human beings than we already are , they are something more than a friend and at the same time not only a lover , we give them a special place in our life which is distinguished from the one we give to our parents and god (if we believe in one ). All of this must be sounding like a fairy tale narration or a dialogue from a cliche love story novel or film , but deep down we all do know we need a person like that in our lives whom we wish to have as our spouse ; Then why do we assume it to be a responsibility . Well with what i have seen in my surroundings i have a few at your disposal to consider them or discuss about it.

Parental pestering is one of the major reasons or it can be the only reason too.. Confused ?? Let me help you here..
From the time we are born the first couple we have seen in wedlock are none other than the couple because of whom we take birth . Our own parents of course; it's the bonding among them which sows the seeds of our own perception of marriage for example one might have the same feelings about marriage as i do if his/her parents have a very romantic relation ; on the other hand for the one whose parents' marriage has been on the rocks he/she would be very skeptical about the term marriage. 
From our childhood they take all the major and minor decisions of our life , when we reach adolescence they have to and sometimes tend to be our closest friends with whom we can share anything and can go for their advice anytime ; they also give us freedom for our decisions at that age . But when it comes to marriage they quiver a bit ; it is mostly out of their love for us . Times have changed but this hesitation among parents somewhere does exist ; I don't say the parents can get wrong all the time but if they understand their consideration they can advise them well and explain the true meaning of marriage but the responsibility doesn't stop here ; even we as their children should understand the turmoil within them and express what do they feel about marriage . It's a two way process that's how it works. 

Marriage = Marry + Age . This is an important equation need to be remembered by my readers who wish to marry and their parents who wish to get you married , no matter how wrong you were in your mathematical equations , make sure this one doesn't go wrong . In today's time where earning money , getting a house of your own and becoming successful and stable these three things have been the most important things in our ambition list getting married in the age of 23-24 which as far as i have seen is the apt age according to the parents will add pressure in our lives , this pressure diverts our mind and makes marriage just a responsibility , a mere duty so that our parents remain quiet , even if we consider it a duty or responsibility we would be carrying it halfheartedly in the end we are frustrated and unhappy and seeing this our parents feel regretful and disappointed with themselves and no one is happy. 

It's when we realize the true meaning of marriage and take things a little seriously in the positive spirit we will know that the purpose of getting married is way above than just carrying family legacy with babies, sex, to settle down just because the spouse is rich and well settled  or the fear of getting over-aged because after this age your chances are less so marry any one available . We can't compromise over such reasons can we ?? and can we let our children make such compromises ?? i think we all know the answers of these two questions . 

The mayhem of marriage is a problem of concern even for we men; mostly because we get married early when we don't even know if we are ready or not and we get married too early for any of the above reasons . Thus i urge the parents to allow their sons to settle like they wish their dream sons-in-laws to be , because KARMA pays back if you don't keep your daughters-in-laws happy your daughters at their respective in laws won't be happy , it's a cycle of our own karma and decisions and if you don't have a daughter well think like one ..

I am not against arrange marriage and not rooting for love marriage alone , i say keep your doors and windows open so that the partner apt for you can come anyway as written in your destiny. Parents are concerned when their children opt for love marriage , it's an often heard situation thus by being aware of the problems faced in arranged marriage they would be strong enough to neglect the crow-volume gossips of the society and it's mockery and will encourage their children and support them and we as their children should be patient and listen to our parents too because it's the consummation of their marriage which brought you in this funny world of ours .....

Knowledge about your Interests and Interest in your Knowledge :P

We all work in various fields like science , commerce ,medicine, art etc.. we work in those fields because we chose to.. the reason to make such a decision can any one of the possible reasons in the world to make such choices.

1. we choose a field of work for the sake of money.
2. we choose it for fame.
3. we choose it to carry a legacy introduced by our ancestors.
4. we choose it because we sometimes don't really have a choice . and the last reason i know would be.
5. to choose it out of our own interests.

There can be many more reasons apart from the one mentioned above , but how many of us know that apart from the world of profession in which we exist and fight to survive in it believing it's the law of the jungle there is a world inside us of which we are the creators.It won't be appropriate to call it an imaginary world because it's the world we created from what we have seen from our birth till our present age.

It's the world of our interests , our knowledge regarding our interests.We need to be honest with our own self and accept that there are many things which interest us apart from our professional lives.
We like to have knowledge about our interests, know as much as we can about it because these interests creates a thirst within us to know more, a thirst which we never knew existed in us.

Now when i say interests it can be anything in this whole funny world of ours if i am to be asked about my interests then i would say that's the toughest question someone has ever asked me; because i never categorized my interests. It ranges from movies , history, mythology, music , artists in the fields of music , movies and what not.. These things not only fascinate me but they make me thirsty for their knowledge . Knowledge to know more and more about these interests of mine. I realized a quality in me which was unknown to me or i pretended to be unknown about it for a very long time  ;the quality of remembering any interesting fact of my interests.

I don't know any person very closely in this world  but i can say that this thirst to know about the fields i show my interest in irrespective of the fact that they might not be related to the field of my profession or not is also there in everyone else but we choose to hide it from people ; we suppress them. 


The reason being our own self obsession , our frequent worries regarding our image in the society.Whenever we wish to display our knowledge to others the most common comment made by them is "This is all you have learnt in your institution ?? why are you wasting your time in all of this ?? have some knowledge about the field you work in it would help you in your future ".
These comments are first made by our own family members who say it with the intention for our own good but this is where things go south .. we create a complex inside us that we should suppress it and hide it from everyone in the world but that gives birth to self diffidence also. We are conditioned to use our knowledge only for our work like its some ladder to climb success and our job is to just climb till our legs give up.

Now if someone like Steve Jobs had given up on his interests we wouldn't have been able to use calligraphy in our laptops. We need to know that the value of knowledge is far more than just a ladder to climb success otherwise we won't be able to respect the knowledge we love to have and the knowledge we need to have as well which leads to a very sad and sorry professional life. The people around us will always say something of this sort but we shouldn't feel belittled by such incidents.It reminds me of what Sir Isaac Newton had said :
"I don't know what I may seem to the world, but as to myself , I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea shore and diverting myself in, now and then, finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me"


If we love what we know then our professional world and this world of our interests would be even more wonderful i wouldn't say it would be perfect but it would be a happier place to live in where we can be happy and proud of our existence . We would be happy about our existence in the professional world and proud of  this world we have created.