MARRIAGE : One's responsibility that gives one's Parents sleepless nights !!!!!

One of the most talked about ,crucial and life altering event of our life is unquestionably "marriage". Funny thing known to us about marriage is that like our academic qualifications , our future jobs and aspirations , our marriage is also the talk of the society , it's one of the most important event of our life which is anticipated more by our surroundings than by us . This anticipation frequently leads to chaos. In the midst of this chaos even we forget our purpose for getting married.

We assume marriage to be a responsibility when it is actually more than that , at least for me it is . For me marriage is a new breather in life , welcoming someone new in our life who could make us better human beings than we already are , they are something more than a friend and at the same time not only a lover , we give them a special place in our life which is distinguished from the one we give to our parents and god (if we believe in one ). All of this must be sounding like a fairy tale narration or a dialogue from a cliche love story novel or film , but deep down we all do know we need a person like that in our lives whom we wish to have as our spouse ; Then why do we assume it to be a responsibility . Well with what i have seen in my surroundings i have a few at your disposal to consider them or discuss about it.

Parental pestering is one of the major reasons or it can be the only reason too.. Confused ?? Let me help you here..
From the time we are born the first couple we have seen in wedlock are none other than the couple because of whom we take birth . Our own parents of course; it's the bonding among them which sows the seeds of our own perception of marriage for example one might have the same feelings about marriage as i do if his/her parents have a very romantic relation ; on the other hand for the one whose parents' marriage has been on the rocks he/she would be very skeptical about the term marriage. 
From our childhood they take all the major and minor decisions of our life , when we reach adolescence they have to and sometimes tend to be our closest friends with whom we can share anything and can go for their advice anytime ; they also give us freedom for our decisions at that age . But when it comes to marriage they quiver a bit ; it is mostly out of their love for us . Times have changed but this hesitation among parents somewhere does exist ; I don't say the parents can get wrong all the time but if they understand their consideration they can advise them well and explain the true meaning of marriage but the responsibility doesn't stop here ; even we as their children should understand the turmoil within them and express what do they feel about marriage . It's a two way process that's how it works. 

Marriage = Marry + Age . This is an important equation need to be remembered by my readers who wish to marry and their parents who wish to get you married , no matter how wrong you were in your mathematical equations , make sure this one doesn't go wrong . In today's time where earning money , getting a house of your own and becoming successful and stable these three things have been the most important things in our ambition list getting married in the age of 23-24 which as far as i have seen is the apt age according to the parents will add pressure in our lives , this pressure diverts our mind and makes marriage just a responsibility , a mere duty so that our parents remain quiet , even if we consider it a duty or responsibility we would be carrying it halfheartedly in the end we are frustrated and unhappy and seeing this our parents feel regretful and disappointed with themselves and no one is happy. 

It's when we realize the true meaning of marriage and take things a little seriously in the positive spirit we will know that the purpose of getting married is way above than just carrying family legacy with babies, sex, to settle down just because the spouse is rich and well settled  or the fear of getting over-aged because after this age your chances are less so marry any one available . We can't compromise over such reasons can we ?? and can we let our children make such compromises ?? i think we all know the answers of these two questions . 

The mayhem of marriage is a problem of concern even for we men; mostly because we get married early when we don't even know if we are ready or not and we get married too early for any of the above reasons . Thus i urge the parents to allow their sons to settle like they wish their dream sons-in-laws to be , because KARMA pays back if you don't keep your daughters-in-laws happy your daughters at their respective in laws won't be happy , it's a cycle of our own karma and decisions and if you don't have a daughter well think like one ..

I am not against arrange marriage and not rooting for love marriage alone , i say keep your doors and windows open so that the partner apt for you can come anyway as written in your destiny. Parents are concerned when their children opt for love marriage , it's an often heard situation thus by being aware of the problems faced in arranged marriage they would be strong enough to neglect the crow-volume gossips of the society and it's mockery and will encourage their children and support them and we as their children should be patient and listen to our parents too because it's the consummation of their marriage which brought you in this funny world of ours .....

Knowledge about your Interests and Interest in your Knowledge :P

We all work in various fields like science , commerce ,medicine, art etc.. we work in those fields because we chose to.. the reason to make such a decision can any one of the possible reasons in the world to make such choices.

1. we choose a field of work for the sake of money.
2. we choose it for fame.
3. we choose it to carry a legacy introduced by our ancestors.
4. we choose it because we sometimes don't really have a choice . and the last reason i know would be.
5. to choose it out of our own interests.

There can be many more reasons apart from the one mentioned above , but how many of us know that apart from the world of profession in which we exist and fight to survive in it believing it's the law of the jungle there is a world inside us of which we are the creators.It won't be appropriate to call it an imaginary world because it's the world we created from what we have seen from our birth till our present age.

It's the world of our interests , our knowledge regarding our interests.We need to be honest with our own self and accept that there are many things which interest us apart from our professional lives.
We like to have knowledge about our interests, know as much as we can about it because these interests creates a thirst within us to know more, a thirst which we never knew existed in us.

Now when i say interests it can be anything in this whole funny world of ours if i am to be asked about my interests then i would say that's the toughest question someone has ever asked me; because i never categorized my interests. It ranges from movies , history, mythology, music , artists in the fields of music , movies and what not.. These things not only fascinate me but they make me thirsty for their knowledge . Knowledge to know more and more about these interests of mine. I realized a quality in me which was unknown to me or i pretended to be unknown about it for a very long time  ;the quality of remembering any interesting fact of my interests.

I don't know any person very closely in this world  but i can say that this thirst to know about the fields i show my interest in irrespective of the fact that they might not be related to the field of my profession or not is also there in everyone else but we choose to hide it from people ; we suppress them. 


The reason being our own self obsession , our frequent worries regarding our image in the society.Whenever we wish to display our knowledge to others the most common comment made by them is "This is all you have learnt in your institution ?? why are you wasting your time in all of this ?? have some knowledge about the field you work in it would help you in your future ".
These comments are first made by our own family members who say it with the intention for our own good but this is where things go south .. we create a complex inside us that we should suppress it and hide it from everyone in the world but that gives birth to self diffidence also. We are conditioned to use our knowledge only for our work like its some ladder to climb success and our job is to just climb till our legs give up.

Now if someone like Steve Jobs had given up on his interests we wouldn't have been able to use calligraphy in our laptops. We need to know that the value of knowledge is far more than just a ladder to climb success otherwise we won't be able to respect the knowledge we love to have and the knowledge we need to have as well which leads to a very sad and sorry professional life. The people around us will always say something of this sort but we shouldn't feel belittled by such incidents.It reminds me of what Sir Isaac Newton had said :
"I don't know what I may seem to the world, but as to myself , I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea shore and diverting myself in, now and then, finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me"


If we love what we know then our professional world and this world of our interests would be even more wonderful i wouldn't say it would be perfect but it would be a happier place to live in where we can be happy and proud of our existence . We would be happy about our existence in the professional world and proud of  this world we have created.