To desire for love, or not desire for love ? that is a question that shouldn't be , I admit this is quote of Shakespeare has been modified but it has been done to bring many things to your notice, especially the teens, students and all those who have encountered the idea of or have had first hand experience of attraction, infatuation, love, lust, relationship, dating , breakups etc. Yes Valentine's Day is around the corner so what better topic than this?
Now before it gets ignored as just another article talking about being in love and the greatness of it, for a change we'll be talking about those who aren't in love and would want to be in love. The SINGLES... there are many singles who are happy as they are and don't wish to have a special significant someone in their life for they have become skeptical after seeing couples around them or have seen their near and dear ones going through ups and downs which has got them cold feet to even want this phase in their own lives. The Singles however that we are going to talk about are the singles who wish to be in love, who yearn to have a SSS (special significant someone) in their life.
The funny part about these singles is that you'll find different types, i.e. variety of them in this category as well. How so ? lets do what we do best,.. delve deeper and think beyond the conventional thinking.....
Today's times are the times of following the crowd, doing what others do, trying match, ape and overtake the people whom we call our peers, and unfortunately this competition with the peers concept which has given rise to peer-pressure has managed to invade in the search for a special-someone too, in fact invaded would be the wrong word, it has amalgamated itself. Then again to contradict with what was said in the beginning of the paragraph, this feeling of peer pressure has risen from our own self, from within our minds, our peers haven't exactly done or said anything to make us feel low about being single, barring a few who themselves don't know real meaning of being with someone as it is a matter of intimacy and not showing off, and lets say even if you show off you celebrate it and not boast or brag about it. At the end of the day its a thought of our own birth.. it will come to us and its up to us as to how we tackle it. Sadly many singles give in to fit in , i.e. they rigorously search for someone in their life only to find themselves within the group, to fit in the group, for these poor souls find themselves left out when they are amongst people who have a special someone in their lives. Hence searching for someone in this manner, they don't see that the person whom they have chosen is special or not ? are we special for them or not ? and then such relationships break, some of them break really very badly either leaving you all lifeless or very skeptical, but in either cases they aren't willing to think, question, accept and conclude that somewhere all of this was because of their choice, it was of their choosing, and even if they do they should be brave enough to learn from it and move on rather than hate themselves even more..
Now come the singles who want to have a special someone but only for a fixed time duration. In other words a fling/casual relationship. It has been seen with prejudice without questioning why any couple in the right sense would opt for it. It is feared that because of such people things like love and relationship will lose its sanctity and will forever be sexually inclined. Firstly people shouldn't be judged for their choice as long as others are not being actually harmed or violated. For loneliness is something people want to fight against and the need for being with someone albeit for a shorter fixed duration helps certain people, then what's the harm? how does it put a blemish on their character if they haven't harassed or violated anyone's boundaries or consent. Like I said in my previous blog about lust and love, people looking for casual relationships are seen as perverts being with someone only for the sake of sex; but the question is that how do others know its just sex? or how do they know that sex is even there in the equation? its just stereotyped prejudice and because of this stereotyped prejudice many people are scared and diffident to express their desires, sometimes the matter goes beyond this as these people start to question themselves or their own character for the same.
And now the last type of singles looking for their SSS (Special Significant Someone), these are the kinds that look for a genuine true-love relationship that lasts forever... Its funny how people really fix a duration or time period of relationships and even funny are those people who judge a relationship based on the time period of it. People look for a short-term relationship and that relationship ends up culminating into a long term forever and for always type relationship and there are People who want to be in a long term relationship without even thinking of the possibilities the future could hold and they end up being in relationships that can't stand the tests of time even for a mere few weeks forget lifetime. People in conditioning their relationships and fixing the tie period of it forget one amazing fact that if a relationship that lasted for a very short period had true love from both ends, those bonds and relationships are as great as those relationships also based on true love yet lasting a lifetime. Love can magnify personalities and attributes then what's time..
Coming back to these singles, the more pure and earnest they seem from the prism of the society, ironically it's the same society that creates troubles for them in the search of their true love. "You are so young, you shouldn't fall into all of this, focus on your work/studies" "Why look for all of this when you are single, being single is the best thing that could happen to you" and many more such statements we come across when our desires lay exposed. To begin with, these feelings aroused from one's desire that itself is aroused after a certain age are all coming from within, they aren't influential and they aren't adulterated by peer pressure or sexual fixation, yes an argument could be made about these feelings being defined as infatuation or love but saying such things and shunning people away is just going to suppress it and not help understand it. And feelings when suppressed makes a person feel oppressed. In fact singles in such situations should be encouraged to explore such feelings with a disclaimer of not letting obsession come in their path. The second quote of being single is the best thing is ironically said by people who themselves are in a relationship, such is the hypocrisy, for they are either too self consumed to not let others experience it or are too meek to even break off from a relationship that is suffocating them. There is always a fear of distraction, but by asking them to suppress is also asking for further pressure as feelings when suppressed are further magnified in the process. Such troubles are faced by teenagers, by people in their adolescence, for the pangs of love and infatuation at its purest kind are experienced at such a tender age only, for this age is expected to be the age which is the last hope for innocence but tragically becomes the last stage of innocence after which the stage of adulthood leads to the adulteration of this innocence.
Now coming back to the question asked in the beginning of this post. To answer this question one has to question their own feelings not with doubt but with curiosity, for self assurance if I may say..If my opinion is asked , to desire is the first step in everything that we do, then why this hesitance in our desire to seek comfort, solace, pleasure, peace or love with someone else ? and before we jump to blame society for judging us, we need to first see the times we have judged our own self. To desire is a person's instinct but to judge is a person's prerogative. This desire of loving and seeking love of any kind is eventually our right and no one should question it.
The reason the singles who don't go out looking for relationships are happier is because they have a one true love which is self love. They love their own self and accept the way they are fearing no prejudice hence they don't judge themselves. But we who are in the pursuit are entangled so much by self and societal prejudice that we in the search of someone's love forget to love ourselves. Irony Abounds !!!
Hence from this Valentine's week, promise yourself to love yourself and continue your pursuit for your SSS ignoring all judgement, kiss your wounds of the past, celebrate your desires and feelings with a chocolate, hug your feelings out, feel mushy like a teddy, see your feelings like a rose and ignore the thorns and with honesty towards yourself and others, continue your pursuit for your Valentine..
Now before it gets ignored as just another article talking about being in love and the greatness of it, for a change we'll be talking about those who aren't in love and would want to be in love. The SINGLES... there are many singles who are happy as they are and don't wish to have a special significant someone in their life for they have become skeptical after seeing couples around them or have seen their near and dear ones going through ups and downs which has got them cold feet to even want this phase in their own lives. The Singles however that we are going to talk about are the singles who wish to be in love, who yearn to have a SSS (special significant someone) in their life.
The funny part about these singles is that you'll find different types, i.e. variety of them in this category as well. How so ? lets do what we do best,.. delve deeper and think beyond the conventional thinking.....
Today's times are the times of following the crowd, doing what others do, trying match, ape and overtake the people whom we call our peers, and unfortunately this competition with the peers concept which has given rise to peer-pressure has managed to invade in the search for a special-someone too, in fact invaded would be the wrong word, it has amalgamated itself. Then again to contradict with what was said in the beginning of the paragraph, this feeling of peer pressure has risen from our own self, from within our minds, our peers haven't exactly done or said anything to make us feel low about being single, barring a few who themselves don't know real meaning of being with someone as it is a matter of intimacy and not showing off, and lets say even if you show off you celebrate it and not boast or brag about it. At the end of the day its a thought of our own birth.. it will come to us and its up to us as to how we tackle it. Sadly many singles give in to fit in , i.e. they rigorously search for someone in their life only to find themselves within the group, to fit in the group, for these poor souls find themselves left out when they are amongst people who have a special someone in their lives. Hence searching for someone in this manner, they don't see that the person whom they have chosen is special or not ? are we special for them or not ? and then such relationships break, some of them break really very badly either leaving you all lifeless or very skeptical, but in either cases they aren't willing to think, question, accept and conclude that somewhere all of this was because of their choice, it was of their choosing, and even if they do they should be brave enough to learn from it and move on rather than hate themselves even more..
Now come the singles who want to have a special someone but only for a fixed time duration. In other words a fling/casual relationship. It has been seen with prejudice without questioning why any couple in the right sense would opt for it. It is feared that because of such people things like love and relationship will lose its sanctity and will forever be sexually inclined. Firstly people shouldn't be judged for their choice as long as others are not being actually harmed or violated. For loneliness is something people want to fight against and the need for being with someone albeit for a shorter fixed duration helps certain people, then what's the harm? how does it put a blemish on their character if they haven't harassed or violated anyone's boundaries or consent. Like I said in my previous blog about lust and love, people looking for casual relationships are seen as perverts being with someone only for the sake of sex; but the question is that how do others know its just sex? or how do they know that sex is even there in the equation? its just stereotyped prejudice and because of this stereotyped prejudice many people are scared and diffident to express their desires, sometimes the matter goes beyond this as these people start to question themselves or their own character for the same.
And now the last type of singles looking for their SSS (Special Significant Someone), these are the kinds that look for a genuine true-love relationship that lasts forever... Its funny how people really fix a duration or time period of relationships and even funny are those people who judge a relationship based on the time period of it. People look for a short-term relationship and that relationship ends up culminating into a long term forever and for always type relationship and there are People who want to be in a long term relationship without even thinking of the possibilities the future could hold and they end up being in relationships that can't stand the tests of time even for a mere few weeks forget lifetime. People in conditioning their relationships and fixing the tie period of it forget one amazing fact that if a relationship that lasted for a very short period had true love from both ends, those bonds and relationships are as great as those relationships also based on true love yet lasting a lifetime. Love can magnify personalities and attributes then what's time..
Coming back to these singles, the more pure and earnest they seem from the prism of the society, ironically it's the same society that creates troubles for them in the search of their true love. "You are so young, you shouldn't fall into all of this, focus on your work/studies" "Why look for all of this when you are single, being single is the best thing that could happen to you" and many more such statements we come across when our desires lay exposed. To begin with, these feelings aroused from one's desire that itself is aroused after a certain age are all coming from within, they aren't influential and they aren't adulterated by peer pressure or sexual fixation, yes an argument could be made about these feelings being defined as infatuation or love but saying such things and shunning people away is just going to suppress it and not help understand it. And feelings when suppressed makes a person feel oppressed. In fact singles in such situations should be encouraged to explore such feelings with a disclaimer of not letting obsession come in their path. The second quote of being single is the best thing is ironically said by people who themselves are in a relationship, such is the hypocrisy, for they are either too self consumed to not let others experience it or are too meek to even break off from a relationship that is suffocating them. There is always a fear of distraction, but by asking them to suppress is also asking for further pressure as feelings when suppressed are further magnified in the process. Such troubles are faced by teenagers, by people in their adolescence, for the pangs of love and infatuation at its purest kind are experienced at such a tender age only, for this age is expected to be the age which is the last hope for innocence but tragically becomes the last stage of innocence after which the stage of adulthood leads to the adulteration of this innocence.
Now coming back to the question asked in the beginning of this post. To answer this question one has to question their own feelings not with doubt but with curiosity, for self assurance if I may say..If my opinion is asked , to desire is the first step in everything that we do, then why this hesitance in our desire to seek comfort, solace, pleasure, peace or love with someone else ? and before we jump to blame society for judging us, we need to first see the times we have judged our own self. To desire is a person's instinct but to judge is a person's prerogative. This desire of loving and seeking love of any kind is eventually our right and no one should question it.
The reason the singles who don't go out looking for relationships are happier is because they have a one true love which is self love. They love their own self and accept the way they are fearing no prejudice hence they don't judge themselves. But we who are in the pursuit are entangled so much by self and societal prejudice that we in the search of someone's love forget to love ourselves. Irony Abounds !!!
Hence from this Valentine's week, promise yourself to love yourself and continue your pursuit for your SSS ignoring all judgement, kiss your wounds of the past, celebrate your desires and feelings with a chocolate, hug your feelings out, feel mushy like a teddy, see your feelings like a rose and ignore the thorns and with honesty towards yourself and others, continue your pursuit for your Valentine..
