Let it come to Me

Let it come to me.

for long enough have i longed for it.

It can find its way to me.

To the purpose of my life, that i kept looking for,

but found no sign, no realization of any kind

I ended up seeing myself, wondered how was I blind.

I know myself now, my mission no matter unknown,

am i to just plough the field where the seeds are already sown?

To this purpose so elusive,

to me that seems exclusive,

I say, Let it come to me,

for long enough have i longed for it.

It can find its way to me.

To the love of  hers that i have yearned for,

but never was i adorned with it.

I was told "I am a Man" 

That my duty, with regards to love ,was to give the same,
that it has been unrequited, 
on no one could I blame.
They say love comes after much delay,
that you don't choose it, it chooses you;
they don't say the fear too is in it's relay,
"What if i end up alone?", 
"What if love refuses you?"
To such a love that's evasive
that yet to me is Persuasive,
I say, Let it come to me,
for long enough have i longed for it.
It can find its way to me.

To the thoughts i struggle to ink
the times when even my mind had to blink.
At times i never found the words to express,
that would to your mind seductively caress.
And the other i found the words but not the flow,
it all seemed scattered, pointless and pathless,
Alas! at the end the plot was lost, no further could I  go.
At times such, you meet ,your own visage that's insecure
it shows that it's concerned, but it's all a charade.
"Have I lost my touch and talent? Is my heart less pure ?"
with these thoughts the mind makes way
for the overthinking fearful mind's parade.
I struggle while inking, not while thinking.
I recall the struggle being ephemeral,
letting my mind delve deeper,
to create something surreal and ethereal,
and my mind appears as the victorious reaper.
To the thoughts i wish to ink,
to the words through which i aim to create a link,
I say, Let it come to me,
for long enough have i longed for it.
It can find its way to me.

Let it come to me, 
for long enough have i longed for it.
It can find its way to me.

From fornication, to salvation, by Consummation

I lay awake in my bed with her by my side,
she was asleep for she was content and pleasured
while i fought with the feeling that i was drowning
in an ocean whose depth hadn't been measured.

Not that i did not enjoy the pleasures of fornication,
I was satisfied, like the many years in the past,
my heart though ached for a joyful consummation,
the love when made, would go on to last.

The former is exciting, with no expectations,
Promising you variety, making you greed for more,
"No strings attached" as said in the common folklore.

But when there are no strings for a time too long,
Life seems wayward, struggling with the dearth of a purpose,
it seems all noise, like a sad metal song. 

The latter is a beautiful prospect,
for it binds you, guides you with a path forward
Providing the liberty to expect.

Then why did i choose to be promiscuous?
This question reminds me of the times,
when regarding matters of the heart,
I was a bit too innocuous.

I was set to seek, what looked like binding,
But was too awed to notice, it was blinding.
Not my body, soul or mind 
If anything, i felt robbed of my value.

I was heartbroken, i don't wish to say how,
I felt unworthy, i felt alone, yet i didn't insult love.
for i knew it was an experience that left me scarred
I was just scared, albeit too much,
Made myself too wary, never letting my hopes get marred.

Thus i chose the path of physical union,
where love was made without any love,

Ironical as it sounds, I felt protected
For now i didn't feel hurt or broken
A perfect "armor against amour".
This path turned out well selected
As for no one until now, i could let feelings harbor.

Yes "until now", for this girl who lays beside me,
she seems ecstatic now, but is quite enigmatic.
As i see her smile now, it's a smile beyond ecstasy.
It signifies a fulfillment of a dream, 
Not another bedroom fantasy.

The days we spent before this fateful night,
we would talk and observe,
For when she was around,
I felt an uncomfortable comfort.

For her words made me want to go back,
To that old version of me,
The one who was long forgotten, 
The one judged to be so cheesy,
but her presence made me feel that perhaps,
returning to that old self would be breezy.

However, i had gotten so used to restraining myself to the body,
my conscience fought hard to coerce my mind towards the soul.
As i brought my eyes to her beautiful pair,
I observed her looking beyond me as if i were a ghoul.

The way she saw, made me feel naked,
for i felt the piercing of her sight,
that went beyond skin and flesh,
till it discovered my wounds, 
that i feared would go back to being fresh.

I saw her wipe a struggling tear,
assuming we shared similar foes,
we smiled and let the attraction takes it course
for that flirtatious tension existed,
that neither wanted to ruin by sharing woes.

Her words and eyes already made me feel chaste,
and now her touch felt like salvation.
I now realize how much I am at peace,
like that lost traveler who made it to it's destination.

As my thoughts helped me reach a decision,
she woke up stretching her sinuous limbs lazily,
her eyes were teary like that day,
she wore that same smile, although
in that smile hid a question very hazily. 

I was early to wipe that tear away,
as i cupped her face and kissed her forehead,
her smile became wider, it declared we were ready,
to put our souls at stake,
thus we cuddled and snuggled to sleep,
but in love we felt awake.

For we explored each others' bodies in fornication,
only to reach a destination, 
the path of which was paved by a connection,
a connection beyond body and soul,
thus the medium was this fornication,
only to reach a destination,
a destination that was salvation,
a salvation by this consummation.

It's Showtime

The stage is set, the crowd will arrive.

The spotlight will be on me,

but in the ocean of my thoughts,

my mind took a dive 

It is searching for something special.

Something that brings my act alive.

Something that makes me look vibrant

for when the audience applaud looking at me

 then can i push myself to be exuberant.

what is this act you may ask with doubt

for what is so special about this performance 

what am i making a fuss about.

These questions did occupy me, but not anymore,

for my mind became my savior and brought me the answers 

The answers helped my gain my composure 

I overcame my fear

I recalled the quote of the great Shakespeare

He did say this world is a stage and we are actors playing our part

But who is the audience not a single soul had pondered.

If I see with the prism of introspection

I see myself in all

The front row are seated my emotions 

The last row being my logic

The middle however has my peace seated

Observing every scene, romantic, comic or tragic.

The first row is in awe and overwhelmed

The last row comments, laments or dozes off

The middle row keeps them both tied 

And has me glued to my role

What kind of an actor am I ?

The one that is directed by the audience?

But that is the truth

For i am because of my audience

And my audience is because of me

My role was thus decided 

albeit the script hasn't found its ending.

However i still enjoy my role, 

I perform it to my utmost capacity,

for this i assume is a never ending show

always room for more.

Now i know where i belong 

now i know for whom i perform

now i know why do i perform.

The stage is set, the crowd has arrived.

I am ready for the uncertain

and so should you , It's  Showtime !!!!!

Reader's Block Clearing the Path

Assuming myself to be a  reader avid and voracious,
To read new books I was indeed curious.
Thus, I went to a nearby bookstore,
And what I saw left me gaping,
For each book with their title and cover looked tempting
And the smell of the paper just increased my craving.
I went through all possible shelves that had me lured
I felt a sudden sickness i thought would never be cured
As time went by my mind felt heavy
For no discerned reason could I pick a book to read
More than a hobby it felt like a cumbersome deed
To my plight I gave a bit of a thought
And that's when I realized 
That albeit my need to have paper-bound friend
I wasn't sure which to pick from the lot
My mind felt numb like a rock
Did I develop a reader's block ??
What kind of books do I really like,
For I never chose books on my own
And hence to me my favorites could strike
There were books of other genre that intrigued me
I could like those books, what was the possibility,
I never really read the author's other works
What was the author's credibility ?
I came across the books of the genres
That I liked but found them too familiar
I couldn't re-read my earlier books,
It felt like a problem too peculiar
That's when I was struck with epiphany,
Maybe that's how the world seems in its singularity
We make choices that may be wrong
And meet faces that may stay for long
And in this turmoil we doubt our individuality
Not in pride but in fear do we choose solidarity
I want to know beyond me, I want to explore
I want to experience variety, read everything
But never did I feel this need to implore
The reason had the problem simplified
It helped me face my deep dark issues
Memories that had me petrified.
I haven't yet read the books that stay at home
The books that yearn my attention
The books of my own shelf, 
The books I want to borrow from my sibling
And most importantly, the books of my heart and mind.
Only when have I read these books entirely 
Would I feel so enlightened
To know who I am, who I was and who I can be..
As for now there's only one thing that I can see...
That I am a Lion not one among the Sheep's flock
And thus I am grateful to have had this "Reader's Block"....

Tongues and Tears..

When two pairs of lips are enveloped

Is when the foundation of a relationship developed..

As it may lead to tongues, tears or both..

For when lips make way for tongues...

Each explores the other...

Ironic are tongues

For they desire to satiate the insatiable..

Consumed in hunger and glutton to taste..

Yet concerned if they left their taste in the other..

Brazenly clinging and unabashedly craving for more 

Entangled like a mesh..

but if it's just tongues..

its all about the flesh..

For tears gush out when hearts open albeit the enclosed lips..

Mistake not for these tears aren't about grief..

If anything they express only relief..

For the innocence of this infatuation is at its peak..

And nothing more does your heart seek...

They speak volumes of purity..

Yet slip away from closed eyes quietly..
Tears remind of how much we longed...
Reminiscing the times we were wronged..
They whisper now you're free
The pangs of loneliness have let you go..
And now in this pool of innocent infatuation  you can flow...
But at times one may wonder...
What if in the same moment tears liberate and tongues bind...
The flesh is hungry but the heart is also kind.. 
Upon this situation seldom souls ponder..
For when lips touch... 
You either let your tongues explore or tears celebrate.. 
It's not that tongues are defiled and tears chaste..
It's all about the fear that this moment may never last..
But when tears and tongues flow in the same time..
It's love being naked and passion reaching its prime..
Tears and Tongues have their own sense of purity..
And when together they promise the ultimate eternity...

Adulteration in being an adult

From spending money of our parents miserly

To being a spendthrift with our own money...

From being worried about pollution in the world

To polluting our own liver and lungs...

From looking at his cute eyes and her rosy cheeks lovingly..

To looking at his well built contours and her sensuous curves desirably..

We have come a long way In this short life

Have we adulted with our innocence or adulterated our innocence ??...

It's a question seldom asked..

And when not asked renders us insatiated

But fret not ...as it was bound to happen

For innocence has completed it's journey..

And now we embark upon adulthood..

With our mind focussed on our goals

But our heart clinging to our innocence

How to get it back I wonder

Yet upon the journey of this life didn't I ponder..

This longing and clinging made us cry...

For about the future we pry..

In this crying and prying we forgot to smile..

We are now in our youth before death lay another mile..

Smile in the memories and take pride in coming a long way..

For the time to claim and discover ourselves begins this very day..

So what if we are adulterated ..it's we who chose..

For in life we held on to the thorns to smell the rose..

To desire for love, or not desire for love ? that is a question that shouldn't be

To desire for love, or not desire for love ? that is a question that shouldn't be , I admit this is quote of Shakespeare has been modified  but it has been done to bring many things to your notice, especially the teens, students and all those who have  encountered the idea of or have had first hand experience of attraction, infatuation, love, lust, relationship, dating , breakups etc. Yes Valentine's  Day is around the corner so what better topic than this?

Now before it gets ignored as just another article talking about being in love and the greatness of it, for a change we'll be talking about those who aren't in love and would want to be in love. The SINGLES... there are many singles who are happy as they are and don't wish to have a special significant someone in their life for they have become skeptical after seeing couples around them or have seen their near and dear ones going through ups and downs which has got them cold feet to even want this phase in their own lives. The Singles however that we are going to talk about are the singles who wish to be in love, who yearn to have a SSS (special significant someone) in their life.

The funny part about these singles is that you'll find different types, i.e. variety of them in this category as well. How so ? lets do what we do best,.. delve deeper and think beyond the conventional thinking.....

Today's times are  the times of following the crowd, doing what others do, trying match, ape and overtake the people whom we call our peers, and unfortunately this competition with the peers concept which has given rise to peer-pressure has managed to invade in the search for a special-someone too, in fact invaded would be the wrong word, it has amalgamated itself. Then again to contradict with what was said in the beginning of the paragraph, this feeling of peer pressure has risen from our own self, from within our minds, our peers haven't exactly done or said anything to make us feel low about being single, barring a few who themselves don't know real meaning of being with someone as it is a matter of intimacy and not showing off, and lets say even if you show off you celebrate it and not boast or brag about it. At the end of the day its a thought of our own birth.. it will come to us and its up to us as to how we tackle it. Sadly many singles give in to fit in ,  i.e. they rigorously search for someone in their life only to find themselves within the group, to fit in the group, for these poor souls find themselves left out when they are amongst people who have a special someone in their lives. Hence searching for someone in this manner, they don't see that the person whom they have chosen is special or not ? are we special for them or not ? and then such relationships break, some of them break really very badly either leaving you all lifeless or very skeptical, but in either cases they aren't willing to think, question, accept and conclude that somewhere all of this was because of their choice, it was of their choosing, and even if they do they should be brave enough to learn from it and move on rather than hate themselves even more..

Now come the singles who want to have a special someone but only for a fixed time duration. In other words a fling/casual relationship. It has been seen with prejudice without questioning why any couple in the right sense would opt for it. It is feared that because of such people things like love and relationship will lose its sanctity and will forever be sexually inclined. Firstly people shouldn't be judged for their choice as long as others are not being actually harmed or violated. For loneliness is something people want to fight against and the need for being with someone albeit for a shorter fixed duration helps certain people, then what's the harm? how does it put a blemish on their character if they haven't harassed or violated anyone's boundaries or consent. Like I said in my previous blog about lust and love, people looking for casual relationships are seen as perverts being with someone only for the sake of sex; but the question is that how do others know its just sex? or how do they know that sex is even there in the equation? its just stereotyped prejudice and because of this stereotyped prejudice many people are scared and diffident to express their desires, sometimes the matter goes beyond this as these people start to question themselves or their own character for the same.

And now the last type of singles looking for their SSS (Special Significant Someone), these are the kinds that look for a genuine true-love  relationship that lasts forever... Its funny how people really fix a duration or time period of relationships and even funny are those people who judge a relationship based on the time period of it. People look for a short-term relationship and that relationship ends up culminating into a long term forever and for always type relationship and there are People who want to be in a long term relationship without even thinking of the possibilities the future could hold and they end up being in relationships that can't stand the tests of time even for a mere few weeks forget lifetime. People in conditioning their relationships and fixing the tie period of it forget one amazing fact that if a relationship that lasted for a very short period had true love from both ends, those bonds and relationships  are as great as those relationships also based on true love yet lasting a lifetime. Love can magnify personalities and attributes then what's time..

Coming back to these singles, the more pure and earnest they seem from the prism of the society, ironically it's the same society that creates troubles for them in the search of their true love. "You are so young, you shouldn't fall into all of this, focus on your work/studies" "Why look for all of this when you are single, being single is the best thing that could happen to you" and many more such statements we come across when our desires lay exposed. To begin with, these feelings  aroused from one's desire that itself is aroused after a certain age are all coming from within, they aren't influential and they aren't adulterated by peer pressure or sexual fixation, yes an argument could be made about these feelings being defined as infatuation or love but saying such things and shunning people away is just going to suppress it and not help understand it. And feelings when suppressed makes a person feel oppressed. In fact singles in such situations should be encouraged to explore such feelings with a disclaimer of not letting obsession come in their path. The second quote of being single is the best thing is ironically said by people who themselves are in a relationship, such is the hypocrisy, for they are either too self consumed to not let others experience it or are too meek to even break off from a relationship that is suffocating them. There is always a fear of distraction, but by asking them to suppress is also asking for further pressure as feelings when suppressed are further magnified in the process. Such troubles are faced by teenagers, by people in their adolescence, for the pangs of love and infatuation at its purest kind are experienced at such a tender age only, for this age is expected to be the age which is the last hope for innocence but tragically becomes the last stage of innocence after which the stage of adulthood leads to the adulteration of this innocence.

Now coming back to the question asked in the beginning of this post. To answer this question one has to question their own feelings not with doubt but with curiosity, for self assurance if I may say..If my opinion is asked , to desire is the first step in everything that we do, then why this hesitance in our desire to seek comfort, solace, pleasure, peace or love with someone else ? and before we jump to blame society for judging us, we need to first see the times we have judged our own self. To desire is a person's instinct but to judge is a person's prerogative. This desire of loving and seeking love of any kind is eventually our right and no one should question it.

The reason the singles who don't go out looking for relationships are happier is because they have a one true love which is self love. They love their own self and accept the way they are fearing no prejudice hence they don't judge themselves. But we who are in the pursuit are entangled so much by self and societal prejudice that we in the search of someone's love forget to love ourselves. Irony Abounds !!!

Hence from this Valentine's week, promise yourself to love yourself and continue your pursuit for your SSS ignoring all judgement, kiss your wounds of the past, celebrate your desires and feelings with a chocolate, hug your feelings out, feel mushy like a teddy, see your feelings like a rose and ignore the thorns and with honesty towards yourself and others, continue your pursuit for your Valentine..